One of Those Days

As I teacher it is expected to have "one of those days" more often that your Average Joe, but today was at the top of the list. It started out bad. Woke up for the first time feeling like I actually got sleep and was still exhausted. Fed my beautiful daughter got dressed, hair, make-up the whole nine and I was ready 30 minutes faster than usual, which was great. I was all ready to go and realized there was no coffee-upsetting. But I knew I was still 30 minutes ahead of schedule which was great because I had an amazing amount of work to do at school. So there I am ready to go. I change Alice, put her in her car seat and wait for Brian. I pack my lunch and grab my stuff and wait. 20 minutes later I am still waiting and he realizes that I wanted to leave earlier-oops. So I'm frustrated because now I am not as early as I want to be and I have no caffine in my body to keep me going. So I am grumpy, tired, and agitated. I get to school, I get in my classroom and I cry. Don't ask me why: I am a baby. It lasts for a whole 2 minutes and I recoup, make some coffee and begin my day. To my surprise it gets better. This is good and I am all smiles and sunshine. (Makeshift mochas have that effect on me). First period good, they are generally a sleepy bunch so that don't cause drama, but they listen and participate. Second period is my prep. I realize that I forgot to have the kids vote for Homecoming Court so I have to spend the greater part of an hour hunting the students down in their second period classes and getting their votes. I check my mail find out my package is still not here- I ordered it WEEKS ago and finally return to my classroom. Now lately every time I am more than 20feet from my phone it rings and by the time I run through the students desks and around my own, the phone stops ringing-arg. I am sitting at my desk ready for creative writing to start and I pick up the phone. I am going to find out where my damn package is. So I call Teacher's Discovery. They sent it WEEKS ago and give me a date, time and the name of the person who signed for it. None of the information she gives me makes sense. She informs me that they sent it to the alternative high school. She can't explain why-genius. Then she tells me to call the school an dsee if they have it, if not she can resend it, but it will be missing a couple items-lame. So I call the alternative high school. Someone answers and I explain my problem: My package was accidentally sent to your school. I am at the high school. Do you still have it.
"Hold on a sec" she says and I wait. And wait. Wait. Still waiting...more waiting..
"Hello this is Dixie."
"Hi, um did she explain to you why I am calling?"
"H-e-l-l-o, can I help you?" she responds. I assume she is also an idiot and hold my toung the repeat. "My package was accidentally sent to your school. I am at the high school. Do you still have it."
"No"
"But they said they sent it to you"
"They did, but I didn't know who it was for so I sent it to JDC" (the juvenile detention center).
Silence. I AM LIVID
OK, can you call them and get that back? That was a $200 order and I would like my stuff.
"It was $212.10 and I am NOT paying for it."
The bell rings and my students start filing in. Loudly. And it continues, loud, louder and then beyond loud. I stand up (phone in hand) and mouth "Shut Up". They don't
"Well I didn't ask you too, I would just like my stuff please." I quickly respond.
"I guess I could call JDC and see if they could locate everything and package it back up for you."
YOU GUESS? You GUESS? I want to smack the b*#@h! I don't want my now used items that I paid full price, I want you to take responsibility for your actions and replace what you gave away.
She hangs up. I hang up and the rest of the day is shot. I BLOW up at my creative writing kids.
"Are you kidding me? I'm on the damn phone!" )Low grade swearing totally impresses high school kids). They cower in fear and my outburst and I am too upset to apologize. Everything annoys me and I am pissed.

People are idiots.

who knows

I find myself at a loss for words lately. So much is going on and I find that I have little time for myself. I hate that. I hate that I feel selfish for wanting to be alone for 5 minutes. I hate that I want to be away from her sometimes. And then, when I am apart from her for more then 5 minutes I feel lost, alone, incomplete. Why is this so hard, so complicated?